Emotions

I now have 2 big chemo's under my belt with 4 more to go. Now that I'm in the middle of my treatment and losing my hair, I'm forced to deal with the emotions that come with cancer. Yes, I went through the normal 5 stages of grief when I was first diagnosed, but this is different. This is the day in and day out of fighting. Life of course has gone on. I still have dirty diapers to change and Christmas presents to buy. In no way have I tried to suppress how I feel, but it is just not something I would talk about. Because most of you know me well and are going through this fight with me, I thought you should know where my thoughts are.

First, I will say that other then right after my diagnosis I have not had one feeling of sadness. I haven't struggled with depression partly because Joel will not let me and partly because anytime I even think about getting sad I just look at Ella. She has no idea what's going on. She doesn't even care that Mom and Dad now have the same haircut. She looks into my eyes and smiles. Who could get sad with that?

I will say that the one emotion I feel time and time again is anger. Let me follow that by saying not once have I been angry at God. God has been my protector, my healer, my peace. I'm angry at the circumstances. At 29 I should be thinking about my family, my job, and my friends. Instead, I'm going to chemo. I was talking with Grandpa Herb yesterday and he asked if I ever got sad. When I told him, "No, just angry." He said "Well, that's because you're a fighter." And you know, I am! I'm not going to let some stupid tumor get the best of me. Yes, cancer stinks and there could be so much to complain about. (That's why I sit in the corner at chemo. I don't want to hear it). What good would it do to complain? Not only would I be miserable but everyone around me would be too.

I will be honest and say that I do struggle with worry. It's the most prevalent when I feel really bad. I worry about how I'm going to take care of Ella or if I'm going to throw up all night. If I allow my mind to get the best of me I worry that we will never be able to have more children or that the cancer will come back. After this last chemo treatment the worry got the best of me. As I took a walk to get some fresh air and pray. As I was walking I noticed the sparrows flying around a bird feeder. God reminded me of the verse from Luke 12:6-8 that says, "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." If God cares so much about these little birds, how much more does He care for me! God will take what was meant for bad and turn it into good. I don't have to worry about anything now or in the future. God's got it covered. (God doesn't have to worry about counting the hairs on my head for a while so, He'll have time to take care of all the other stuff.)

I use this blog mostly for updates but I want you to know the other stuff also. Joel and I believe that pray works. We've seen firsthand how powerful prayer is. I know I've said it before but I could not do this without the love and support from all of you.

Now for the updates (HaHaHa)......

Joel's job is going great. There is a lot of work to be done but he can handle it. Ella has started pulling up. I've asked her to wait until February 27th (my last big chemo) to walk but I don't think it will happen. She's added some new words to her vocabulary like "apple," "all done," and the best is "uh-oh." She thinks it's fun to say it before she drops something. We went to the Christmas lights at Riverbanks Zoo last weekend with my parents. Ella sat in Santa's lap without any tears. It was so fun! Joel and I were able to go to my work holiday party after the zoo. We couldn't stay long but it was so wonderful to see all the girls from work. I miss you guys SO MUCH!!

Ella and I are headed to Augusta Friday for the holidays. Joel will be joining us on Sunday and we will celebrate Christmas. Then, on my 30th birthday (Dec 26th) I get big chemo #3. That will be the halfway mark! Whoo Whoo!! Oh and I almost forgot.... Joel gave me a great haircut on Monday! I love it!!

In case I don't get a chance to blog before the holidays I hope you all have a blessed Christmas! We love you!!!

SURPRISE!!!

So last night Joel, Ella and I headed to what I thought was our annual Christmas party with friends from church. Turns out, it was a surprise 30th birthday party for me. (I know, I don't look a day over 20). I was definitely surprised! Joel, with the help of my friends Sara and Rebekah pulled it off without a hitch. There were so many of our wonderful friends there including my parents, my little brother, my adopted mom Brenda, and our great friend Denny. I had a blast at the party. The food was awesome and the gifts were perfect. I received gift cards, books, warm hand-made slippers, and even a bag of presents compiled by my friends to take to chemo. There is one present for each big chemo day I have left. Thank you everyone who attended and to those who wanted to be there but were under the weather. I feel honored to have such amazing friends and family.

In other news...I did well with my chemo on Wednesday. Adjusting the dose of my medicine seemed to help a great deal with the stomach problems. I also went in on Friday for some IV fluids to "tank me up" for the weekend. I think the worst part about the "after chemo" is the joint pain. I feel like a 95 year old woman. It only lasted a few days last time so hopefully by Monday I'll be feeling better. I'll be in Augusta for the weekend with my parents and will return to Columbia on Tuesday.

I also wanted to share with you all how good God is. This week we received an unexpected bill for our neighborhood association. Because I'm still on disability from work, we have just enough for monthly bills, groceries and gas. We didn't want to have to dip into savings because that money is for the medical bills starting to roll in. Joel asked God to show us the best way to handle this on Tuesday night. On Wednesday morning when my Dad arrived to take me to chemo, he had a huge poster in his hands. The poster was from the faculty at the school where he is principal. The poster was covered with gift cards for groceries, gas, restaurants and even cash. We could not believe the generosity. Once again God has provided. Thank you Lewiston Elementary staff!!!!!

I'll end this post thanking all of you who are supporting our family through this time. Going through the battle with cancer could be unbearable, but we find so much strength in your love and support. We must give all the glory to God for all that He is doing through this and for the ways He has provided. We pray our lives will be a testimony of the faithfulness and goodness of the God we serve.

The Great Hair Exodus

So....the Van Hamme's didn't fall off the face of the earth. Things have been so busy. We said goodbye to Grandpa Wayne last Tuesday (we miss you...especially Ella)! We had a few days to prepare for a visit from my wonderful friend Alyssa and her youngest daughter, Abigail. Alyssa was my roommate in college, and her and her husband Cameron are some of our best friends. We were so excited to have them come, although Cameron, Gracie and Olivia couldn't join them.

The girls played so well together and as always I just love having Alyssa around. It was perfect timing for her to come this past weekend. Last Friday was the day that will be remembered as the "Great Hair Exodus." My hair just said, "We've had enough...I'm out." And believe me out it has come! I was giving my head a little scratch on Friday and when I brought my hand back down I had a small handful of hair. We had decided when I knew for sure it was going I would get a shorter haircut. Joel and Ella went with me for moral support. Here is the after picture:

I have to say I'm not a big fan of the haircut, but it's just all part of the adventure. I've learned quickly (thanks to Joel) that the easiest way to handle some of the tough stuff is to laugh about it. And believe me we've all had some good laughs this weekend. I think we've decided I either look like my younger brother Brice with earrings or an elf. The elf look is perfect for the holidays anyway and I guarantee the Santa hat will be worn proudly. I do also understand that the shorter my hair gets the bigger my earrings need to get.

All joking aside, I really am doing okay with it. It was a little bit hard at first to see the hair falling out. I guess I was a little more emotionally attached to my hair then I thought. It will grow back though and at least I'll know how to fix it when it starts to come back in. I am going to start wearing my hats too.

I had my last tissue expansion today. Whoo Whoo!! The process has gone flawlessly and my final reconstruction surgery will be scheduled as soon as I finish my big chemo. Wednesday is my big chemo day. Dr Butler is going to adjust my medicine some because I've had some random days where I can't stop throwing up. It's lovely. He may even have me come back on Thursday to get some extra IV fluids to "load me up" in case that happens again. I'm thankful now I know what to expect with the big chemo days. My dad will be accompanying me on Wednesday and then I'll be heading to Augusta this weekend. We are so excited that Joel will be starting his new position on Saturday. Please say a little prayer for him. He will have to work a late night on Saturday so that's why I'm heading to Augusta. my parents will be helping us this weekend because my tough days are Friday and Saturday. Plus, they'll get a little Ella time which will be so fun.

The other exciting happenings are that Ella is crawling all over the place. She of course loves to crawl to the dog bowls and we've caught just before her first sample of dog food several times. She's got her first top tooth. She is saying tons of words like hi, mama, dada, Ab (for Abby) and Bo. We've been working on "HO HO HO Merry Christmas" but so far we've gotten just "HO." As always, Ella is so much fun and I just love every second being a mom.

After Chemo

Sorry to all who check our blog frequently for updates. Let me just say that chemo is no joke. These past few days have been pretty tough. I did well the day after chemo but by Friday afternoon I was starting to feel the effects of the medicine. By Saturday I was out for the count. Thankfully, Grandpa Wayne was here to take care of Ella. I don't remember much because some of the anti-nausea meds give you short term memory loss. I just remember I slept most of the day. The nausea eased up by Monday. Needless, to say my appetite wasn't effected to much. The part that is the hardest is the fatigue and joint pain. It just feels like you have the flu. I'm not complaining though. The side effects were so much better then I thought they would be. At least now we know what to expect and what to plan for.

We've learned we'll probably need some babysitting help....so all of you that have offered you'll be getting a call soon. Since Ella is crawling all over the place she needs constant supervision. She's already tried to climb up the Christmas tree! Ella and I were having a little fun one day trying on some hats I bought in case my hair falls out. She is such a little nut! She has definitely got her Daddy's sense of humor!

Speaking of Joel....he interviewed for an upper management position yesterday and we found out today that he got the job! YEEEAAAAHHH! He will be transferring to a store in Northeast Columbia and will be managing the departments he really wanted. What an answer to prayer!!

Grandpa Wayne (Ella calls him "Pa") had to take Ella on her first Carousel ride. They rode it 3 times in a row because every time it stopped she cried and wanted more. They had a blast. Check out our flickr site for the new pictures.

Tomorrow we go for our weekly chemo infusion. This medicine that I'm getting weekly is suppose to have no side effects. I'm glad. I don't need any interference with my "turkey eat'n." We hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving (and you find good sales on Friday)!

Chemo Day

We made it! Chemo wasn't that bad. I tolerated all the medicine very well. They even gave me a little Ativan to make me more comfortable. Hehehehe.... What made the whole experience so great were two nurses who will be caring for med every time I go for chemo. The picture above are my nurses. They like to laugh and joke a lot, so I had a great time. Of course, what also made it so good was I got spend 8 hours straight with Joel. We talked, played cards, ate snacks, just had fun. The oncology center is amazing and the room where I receive chemo it so bright and happy. You overlook woods, a pond, and birds eating from bird feeders. I was very relaxed.

Today I don't feel to bad. I just feel a little "run down." I'm taking 5 different medicines for nausea, so that's under control. I've just rested quite a bit today and of course Grandpa Wayne hasn't minded at all. I've started to have a little weird taste in my mouth but it hasn't stopped me from eating. All in all it's not so bad. Tomorrow could be hard. The nurses have told me for some people the first day after chemo is usually worse. If I loose my hair, they told me to anticipate about 3-4 weeks before it happens. The list of those who would like to go bald with me is building. Feel free to join....just kidding.

In about 5 days my blood counts will drop and I might feel a little crummy. They gave me a shot which I gave myself today that is suppose to help keep your blood count up. I just can't thank you all enough for all the prayers yesterday. Once again we are overwhelmed with all the love and support.

On a different note, Joel applied for an upper management position at a Lowes in town. We are praying that if this is God's time for that then he will get the job...and a raise. Yeah!!!! Ella has started crawling all over the place. She is giving high-fives and clapping her hands. It is the cutest thing I've every seen!!!!

D-Day

Well, Joel and I are off to start the chemo. We start this morning at 9:00 AM and they've told me to anticipate the first session to last about 5 hours. My stomach is in knots but at least I slept well last night. We went to dinner at Ruby Tuesday's last night for my "last meal." Most people have told me that with the chemo you have a metallic taste in your mouth and food doesn't taste so good. As you all know, I LOVE to eat. I made sure I got a great meal before all the metal. Joel's also taking me for breakfast this morning. I'm just living it up! Please keep our family in your prayers today. Thanks!

Love,
Lisa

Belly Laughs

Grandpa Wayne (Joel's dad) arrived on Tuesday evening. When Ella and I picked him up from the airport, she screamed and screamed. She screamed all the way home. Then, I put her in her highchair and she decided she liked him...a lot!!! Wayne hasn't seen Ella since she was 5 weeks old. He is having so much fun and wearing Ella out! She's sleeping 5 or 6 hours straight at night!!! Thanks Grandpa! I've added a few pictures of the two of them to the flickr site. Click here.

We took Grandpa and Ella to the zoo. The above video is something we thought you might enjoy. It's a little fuzzy but the sound is the best part. She is so much fun! I think she believes that all animals are puppies. Every animal we saw....the zebras, the birds, the turtles, the anaconda all got her little "awww." We are so grateful that Wayne could join us for a few weeks.

This week is the big week. I go to the hospital on Monday afternoon to have a port placed. The port will be the way I will receive chemo. This is used in place of getting IV every time I get chemo. The chemo can really mess your veins up making it very difficult to get an IV in place. The port is an excellent option and will hopefully stay in place until all my chemo is complete.

Then....on Wednesday the chemo begins. I can honestly say that this is the part I'm the most nervous about. As many of you know, I'm not much of a medicine taker and I try to take care of my body because it's the only one I get. So, the thought of receiving such strong medicine really scares me, along with all the possible side effects. I am most nervous about the fatigue and nausea. I still have a little one to take care of. Of course, I was nauseated the first 5 months of my pregnancy and I survived! I've been doing a little research and found out that what may help the fatigue most is exercise. I've trusted God all along but this is the time when my faith has to be strong. I believe that God will give me the strength and perseverance to get through.

Your continued prayers are greatly appreciated. Thanks to all of you who care enough to check our blog to see what's going on and have committed to supporting us and praying for us!

All the stuff...

Phew!!!!!!! What a busy day we had on Wednesday! So....I'll start here....We saw Dr. Butler (the oncologist) and he was dressed up like a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. It was HILARIOUS! We discussed my chemo treatment plan and this is what it will consist of....

I will be receiving a combination of taxotere and cytoxan for 6 treatments. I'll receive a treatment every 3 weeks to total 18 weeks. I named the drugs so that any of you that have had these can give me any pointers, that would be greatly appreciated! Once I complete the 'big guns' I will be receiving herceptin for one year. We don't really know right now how I will be receiving it, but from what I've been told, patients tolerate this drug very well.

I met with a chemo-educator and she went over what I can expect. My first chemo-session will be Wednesday, November 14. The first session will last about 5 hours to make sure I tolerate it all well, but after that, the sessions won't last as long. She told me that I can expect hair loss, so we have a sign up sheet for all of you who are going to go bald with me. She gave me some great ideas on different foods and supplements that will help me tolerate the chemo. Again, if anyone has any advice from experience, I would love to hear from you. I have been very impressed with my oncologist and the oncology center. The nurses that will be administering my chemo will be the same two nurses every time. This helps me to rest easy knowing that they will know me personally.

I will say that I am a little shell-shocked after receiving all of this information, but God has been faithful to me thus far, and I know that He will continue to give me the strength and the peace that I need every day.

They removed my drains today...and THEN...they told me I couldn't take a shower for another 24 hours!! Regardless, I'm happy their gone, because they were really starting to get uncomfortable. Dr. Haines (plastic surgeon) said that I was healing beautifully and they will begin the tissue expansion next week.

The most important thing is that Ella went to her 9 month check up. We met her new pediatrician and we LOVED her! Ella weighed 23 lbs, 2 oz and she was 30 inches long. Dr. Thomas told us she was the average height of a 14 month old. At least my arms will be stronger for it.

Ginger, one of the girls I worked with, brought us a wonderful meal last night and made sure our bellies were nice and full for the Fall Festival...We had a great time there and we've posted a couple of pictures on our flickr site. Click here

Joel arrived home this afternoon and boy were we glad to see him! Ella had a giggle fest when she saw him. He completed his training with flying colors and now we pray that the right position will become available locally.

Sorry.....

I apologize tremendously to all you who check frequently to see how things are going. It's been a week since I last posted. We've been busy changing house guests and getting ready for the next wave. Heather and Isabel left Saturday and we miss them! It has been almost 2 years since we had seen Heather and we realize what we are missing! Joel and I got the house cleaned up...well he did most of the work. I was just bossy.

We were able to attend church Sunday morning. It was awesome to see all our friends and the sermon was great too. My mom arrived Sunday afternoon. Joel had to leave for a few days to go to Charlotte for upper management training for Lowes. He has been in training since before all the cancer happened. During everything he has managed to watch recorded classes and take tons of tests (and of course pass with flying colors)!! This week is the last part of training and he will be able to move to upper management.

My dad will arrive today to stay for a few days. I still have to have a chauffeur because I can't drive yet. I'll be seeing the oncologist tomorrow and the plastic surgeon Thursday. I should be getting my drains out Thursday and then a long, hot shower! I thanked God this morning that he helped someone create a shower. I really HATE taking a bath.

I will try to post an update on Thursday after I see the oncologist. Ella also sees her doctor tomorrow for her 9 month appointment on Wednesday and then of course we have to go to the fall festival at church. (many cute costume pics to follow) I know you all are thinking, "Lisa slow down!" I promise I am taking it easy. That's why I called in extra reinforcements to get us through the next few days. My body pretty much just stops when it's time to rest. Thank you all for your continued prayers.

P.S......
I posted a few new pictures on the flickr site. Also, Candice has posted some amazing pictures of the Walk for Life on her blog. Please check it out. Just click the tab on the upper right corner that says Candice and Daniel. Until next time....

One Month

Today marks the one month anniversary of my diagnosis. God has worked in amazing ways. It is hard to believe so much has happened in a short amount of time. I'm already almost a week post-surgery. I am so thankful God gave us the best doctors who worked so quickly to begin my treatment. We saw the plastic surgeon today. They removed the dressing but the drains have to stay another week. I was so pleased with the surgery results and I'm healing quickly.

We want to say "thanks" to all who have brought meals this week. It was so helpful. Thank you Mom and Heather for all your help with Ella. I've been able to get lots of rest because she has been in great hands! (I promise to keep resting)!!

I thought this picture was the absolute cutest! My in-laws (Wayne and April) sent this double stroller. The girls love it!! They like the way it tastes too! We promise there will be more cute pictures to follow.

Quick Update....

All is well. I tell you what....surgery is tough. I've pretty much just slept for the past few days. Of course, I could be making up for the 9 months Ella hasn't let me sleep! The pain is getting better everyday. I'm just taking muscle relaxers now. The muscle spasms can be pretty intense so the meds help so much. I'm pretty foggy in the head so I apologize if the words don't come out right. By the way, the bear in the picture was a gift from the hospital. You use it when you wear your seat belt to prevent the belt from rubbing on you. Cute!!!

We got the final report from the doctor yesterday. There was absolutely no sign of cancer in the lymph nodes or the right breast. My tumor graded a 9 on a scale of 3 to 9. That just means it was a very aggressive tumor which we caught early. We are still waiting on one test which we should have Tuesday. So, right now if I understand correctly my cancer was caught in the early stages and I think it is stage 1 or 2. I will clarify at my appointment on Tuesday. Regardless, it is all a good report but I will have some intense chemo because of the tumor grade. We will find out about my treatment plan when we visit the oncologist on October 31st.

Thank you for your continued prayers and words of encouragement. We are ready for visitors for all you locals. Just call before you come and be ready to play!

Recovery

Good morning! I'm now 2 days post-op and doing well. I'm still in pain but nothing that a little Percocet can't fix! I can't move my arms very much so I'm moving a little slow. I feel good so I'm having to force myself to rest and let others help me. Heather (Joel's sister) and Isabel (our niece) arrived yesterday. Ella is so excited to see someone her size.

We are rejoicing in the good report that my lymph nodes are cancer-free!! I have an appointment with Dr. Haines (plastic surgeon) Monday to hopefully remove the drains and begin the tissue expanding. We will find out Friday the final report about the tumor. They will stage my cancer and the results will determine the type and length of chemo I will receive. Again, thank you all for your prayers! By the way, in case you're wondering, I did chop off my hair. I knew I wouldn't be able to lift my arms to fix it and I love this new style. We will be posting more pictures over the next few days of the "Cousins," so make sure to check back. God bless!

The Morning After....

Good morning to all! I just got off the phone with Lisa and she is doing so well! Last night she had a little pain, and her meds were able to take care of all of it. I asked how she was feeling and how all of it went...She's feeling very well and optimistic. She said that her nurse was a Christian and was so compassionate with her before she went into surgery. Her doctor also mentioned that she must be 'someone very important, because I was called especially to come to another hospital for her..." .

God is just SO good. Lisa will be going home in the next hour or two. Please pray for her as she begins this journey to reconstruction and recovery.

Lisa said that she definitley could feel the prayers of all of you--and is convinced that your prayers are what made the difference. Thank you for your faithfulness in that. Please continue praying...

With gratitude,
Candice

Just an hour after surgery update.

Lisa made it through surgery with flying colors. At this point, she is about to be moved from recovery to her room. The cancer did not spread into her lymph nodes....PRAISE THE LORD! Please continue to pray for her and her family as they begin this journey.

More updates when I hear from her husband and her later.

Thank you for your prayers....

The Day

We'll the day has arrived. As I think of today and the long road of recovery, chemo and reconstruction, I see her face. She is the reason to fight and fight hard. I promise her I will do that. Ella is such a joy (what a name that fits her)! I know the minute I begin to feel sad I can look at her, she'll give me that 2-tooth grin and the joy will come!

Yesterday, my friend Rebekah gave me the scripture passage Zephaniah 3:17. It says, "The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing." How wonderful for me to remember God is with me and I can rest in Him. He loves me so much that He "delights" in ME! I pray that as my family and I go through this journey, God will be lifted up. I am His child and I can't do this without the strength that comes from Him.

So that's where my mind is this morning. I have peace. I feel so much love and support from all of you. Your words of encouragement have been wonderful. Most of all your prayers have been appreciated and greatly needed.

Today my surgery will last approximately 5 hours. Our friend Candice will be posting an update this evening once Joel can see me. Please check back later for that. My parents arrived last night to help and Joel's sister Heather will arrive tomorrow to stay for 10 days. She will be caring for Ella while I recover. She is bringing her daughter Isabel so I'm sure there will many pictures of the cousins to follow. And here we go..........

The Party

Once again Joel and I are overwhelmed with all the love and support. I love that I've heard from people I haven't seen in years and many who we have never even met!!! We feel so encouraged by all the prayers.

I'm sure you are wondering about the picture. In case you don't know, I work as a nurse in a high-risk labor and delivery unit. I've been with most of these girls for about 4 years now and they have truly become like family. It's amazing how well you get to know people when you are having the 2:00 AM talk to keep you awake. We all thought it would be fun to celebrate my upcoming surgery. Yes,the cake says, "Goodbye Girls." I will miss everyone while I am on my leave of absence. I love you guys and I promise I will call when I need you!

Today my surgery date was set for next Tuesday the 16th at 11:00 AM. I will be having surgery at Palmetto Baptist for all you local people. Please continue to pray that my lymph nodes will be cancer free.

I had the opportunity to walk in the "Walk for Life" this weekend with several of my close friends. The walk is a fundraiser for breast cancer research and all the proceeds raised stay in the Columbia area. We walked with about 11,000 people. My wonderful friend, Debbie, made pink shirts for us all to wear and mine said "Future breast cancer survivor." I felt so comforted to know how important breast cancer is to so many. There were so many beautiful breast cancer survivors there. Next year when we walk, I will proudly wear my pink bandanna that is reserved for the survivors!

The Journey Begins

"Lisa, it's cancer." Words I never thought I would hear. I'm only 29... I have a nine month old...You must be wrong! So here we are, 2 weeks after my diagnosis. It is amazing how one small lump can change your life. We've seen all the doctors, had all the tests and surgery is scheduled for next week. We feel like we have lived a whole year in 2 weeks.

I found a small lump several weeks ago. I am still breastfeeding so I just thought it was a clogged milk duct. It didn't go away like they had in the past. I worked with my doctor one night and she felt that I should have an ultrasound. During the ultrasound the radiologist was concerned about the lump which is less then 2 cm in size. They performed a biopsy 2 days later and I got the call while we were in the grocery store. Joel immediately went into action and called everyone we could think of to ask them to pray. Dr Risinger (my OBGYN) promptly started making calls and appointments. Over the next week we met Dr. Parker (the tumor surgeon) and Dr. Butler (the oncologist). These doctors and nurses went above and beyond to help make this process bearable.

After talking with the surgeon, oncologist, geneticist, counselor, and breast cancer survivors we have made the difficult decision to have a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction. (For all you non-medical people...a mastectomy is the removal of the breast including the tissue). After the surgery I will also be receiving chemotherapy. This decision, although very difficult, is best for our family and for the many years to come. We have learned that the cancer is localized to my left breast and an invasive tumor caused by estrogen. So, we pray that by having surgery we will eradicate the risk of ever getting cancer again. We are asking everyone to continue to pray that the cancer has not spread to my lymph nodes. We will not know this until the day of surgery.

Daily, Joel and I have been overwhelmed by the love and support from all our family and friends. God has given us both "peace that passes understanding." It's obvious that the prayers of the faithful have brought the peace. Yes, I'm nervous about the surgery and the chemo and the long recovery ahead of me. But, as my surgeon said, if I wasn't nervous he would worry. At least I am fully aware of what's about to happen. Joel has been my rock. He has literally picked me up off the floor and helped me find the strength that I need to keep going. Life must go on. We have to continue for Ella Joy. She is doing fine by the way. We suspect she senses something is up. She actually has been sleeping better than ever these past few weeks!! We've posted some great pictures of her so check them out.

We will be using this blog site as a communication tool for all those who are praying and are concerned with our progress. We will be sharing our ups and downs and of course some pictures along the way. Our blog will be updated several times a week after I have surgery. We hope that this can take the place of phone calls as our days will be difficult at first. Please feel free to leave words of encouragement for our family. Many people have asked, "what can I do to help?" Over the next few months we will need lots of prayer, babysitters, meals and words of encouragement. If you are wondering why flowers are not included, the answer is.....they die.

Please feel free to share our site and our story.