Getting Back to Normal

I can honestly say the life is finally getting back to normal....whatever that is. We celebrated Joel's birthday and took our annual trip to the beach to visit the Gutherie's. We had a wonderful time. We attempted to play on the beach but it was FREEZING!! We will for sure be taking Ella back this summer.

Joel and I made the decision last week that I would stop taking Tamoxifen (the medicine to prevent breast cancer recurrence). I was really have a rough time with the side effects. The best way I can explain it was the way I felt the week after I had Ella combined with what it must feel like to go through menopause. YUCK!! I cried all the time and was just mean. I felt happy on the inside but I couldn't show it. It was starting to effect all areas of my life. We had a 3 month check-up with my oncologist and expressed our concerns. He had me take a break from the med for 1 month to make sure it was the med that was causing the problem. Within 3-4 days I was my old self again. I had energy, I was laughing, and just felt better. We saw the oncologist again last Monday. I know you're probably thinking "But if it reduces your risk of cancer, Lisa, don't be stupid." That of course was my biggest concern. We talked percentages with the doc and he informed me that because of the surgery I chose and the treatments I had, Tamoxifen only reduces my risk of cancer recurrence by 2-3%. It's just now worth if for 2-3%. So, life really is back to normal. I don't think about cancer everyday and I just feel GOOD!!

Of course, it does make me nervous to think about cancer. I'm learning to let my faith guide me through. A close friend shared this scripture with me from Psalms 4:8 "I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Thank you to all who continue to pray for us. We appreciate it so much!

The Hair

For the first time since my hair fell out, I was actually able to straighten it and have hairstyle. I've been so excited! I can't believe it finally grew long enough. I still like the curls but it is nice to have the hair I've always known back. YEAH!!!!!

Moving on

I've decided the hardest thing by far after battling cancer is figuring out how to move on with my life. It frustrates me that there is always that little twinge in my mind reminding me what I've been through even if it's just a minute or two everyday . These past few weeks have been difficult. I think it's probably got a little to do with the fact I have my first follow-up appointment with my oncologist. I'm trying to learn how to put that thought of cancer or cancer ever returning away. I think that as more time passes it will get easier to not dwell on it. I don't want to ever forget because remembering reminds me of God's goodness and faithfulness. I had never felt closer to God than during those tough times. Life does go on and we are shaped by our life experiences. God's going to help me figure all this out....

On to bigger and better things....Ella celebrated her 2nd birthday on Jan. 12th. We had a big bash and she had so much fun. My favorite picture from the party was the one I snapped below. She was at the table with her cake eating icing with her spoon. She had no idea anyone was watching and she sure was enjoying herself. It is amazing how fast she has grown. She is such an awesome little girl with the best personality. She loves her friends and she working on learning how to share. However, she was not going to share any of her cupcake with Nora!

I've realized that Ella was getting a little bored with me so I thought I better shake things up. We joined My Gym and she loves going. She also goes to the library with Joel once a week for story time. We've also started to learn our alphabet. We pick a letter for the week and we learn as much as she'll allow about that letter. We make crafts, color, and find the letter anywhere we can. The most rewarding part of this is to see how smart she is. My favorite was when she ran to the door as Joel was getting home from work screaming "Airplane starts with A." Joel and I have already realized she much smarter than either of us!