Back to work

I survived the first few nights back at work. It felt SO good to be back and I didn't forget how to do my job. It was like riding a bike. I still have to be careful because of my most recent surgery but I can do that. I've gotten lots of compliments on my "haircut." I just say "thanks."

We are sad because Joel's dad, Wayne, will be leaving Saturday. He and Ella have had so much fun. I'll have a lot to live up to when he's gone. Ella got a swing set and has been having a blast swinging and going down the slide. We should both have a nice tan this summer because she LOVES to be outside. . We explore in the flowers and by the birdhouses. She loves to watch for planes and the absolute cutest is when she climbs in the clubhouse of the swing set and just sits down. She helped me plant our organic vegetable garden and was covered from head to toe in dirt. She planted a few birdseed and some rocks. We'll see how they grow

My Grandma Doolittle had to go to the hospital last Saturday. She spent a few days in the ICU and is now on a palliative care unit. She is bleeding and they can't figure out what is causing it. She is in no pain and knows that she is in God's hands. Her 91 year old mind is still sharp as ever. Ella and I will be going down to see her this weekend. I would ask that you keep her and my family in your prayers.

Normal life...whatever that is....

Yesterday, while at the plastic surgeon’s office, I saw a patient who was exactly where I was just 7 months ago. She had received her cancer diagnosis and she had decided her treatment plan. My heart hurt for her as they were scheduling her surgery. She had a look of grief and confusion and her husband just looked sad. As we rode down the elevator together, her and her husband held hands. I felt bad because I stood next to her with my very thin, short hair. I'm sure she was thinking, "That's going to be me." I didn't speak to her at all. I know how she feels. The last thing you need is for someone to tell you it's going to be okay. You feel like your the only person in the world with cancer. So, my resolve was to silently pray for her as the elevator moved . I thought about this encounter throughout the day.

I see people all the time at chemo and we talk cancer. But here was this beautiful women so hurt and confused. She has no idea what is about to happen to her. I realized that as a breast cancer survivor, I can truly help others who are going through this experience. I understand the emotions of breast cancer and felt them all. Maybe that's why this all happened. No, God didn't give me cancer but He did give me strength, healing and a faith that I have never known. As I rocked Ella to sleep last night, I actually thanked God for this experience and for the cancer. I know it sounds crazy. I am so grateful that God loves me so much that He carried me right in the palm of His hand and I desire to be faithful to the direction He wants me to go.

So, what's next? Well, the best news is I return to work TOMORROW night!!!!!!! I have missed it so much. I am nervous because it has been 7 months since I charted, started an IV, coached a laboring patient, etc. But I know I get to ease back in. We are so blessed to have Joel's dad, Wayne, visiting with us for several weeks. He is such a help and will make the transition back to work an easy one. As for the rest of my reconstruction, I have 2 more procedures to go. They will be separated by 6 weeks. By this summer I'll be the new and improved Lisa (and hopefully have a hairstyle)!

As for the blog, it will continue. However, the look will change. We are no longer "just an ordinary family, fighting breast cancer." We are an ordinary family who survived breast cancer! I have some things I want to say. So now.....as I clear my throat....be prepared for my acceptance speech:

• To my amazing husband Joel: there is absolutely, no way I could have done this without you. God knew exactly what he was doing that day back in August of 2000 when we met for the first time. You kept me laughing which was the key to my recovery. You prayed with me, hugged me, and allowed me to cry even if I woke you in the middle of the night. You also allowed me to express whatever feelings I was having and gently led me back to the fact that God would never leave me. You took care of Ella, the house, the dogs, and me during those times I couldn't all while working 5 days/nights a week. I love you more than words can express.

• To my "Ella Bella:" you are the reason I got out of bed. You kept me smiling because who could be depressed when you look at that beautiful smile. I cherish every minute I had to focus 100% on you. You were a champ and I appreciate that you started sleeping through the night during all of this too! Thank you for being such a good baby and for loving me no matter how short my hair was. You are my sunshine!

• To our parents: thank you could never be enough. I appreciate the babysitting, driving me to appointments, cleaning, doing laundry, and encouraging words. I'm sure you all didn't mind getting to spend a little extra time with Ella. Family truly is the most important thing in this life.
• To Candice and Alyssa: thank you for being such amazing friends. Thank you for crying with me and for letting me talk out all my frustrations. Thank you both for taking time out of your busy schedules to spend several days with me. I love you both.
• To our extended family, friends and church family: thank you for the meals, cards, and support. Joel and I were continually overwhelmed with the love and support we received from you. We are blessed.
• To my girls at work: thanks for not forgetting about me. Thank you for the phone calls, cards, gifts, and laughs.
• To Deb in Michigan: thanks for all the words of encouragement you left on my blog. Who would have known that someone I have never met would play such an important part of my cancer fight? Although we may never meet in this life, I want to give you a great big hug when we meet one day in heaven.
• To all of you who prayed for us and supported us: thank you is not enough. I felt your prayers and could not have been so strong without you.
• To all of the cancer survivors and cancer patients I have met: I am honored to join this elite group. You all are an inspiration.

From the words of Deb in Michigan shared with me, "I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing!" Believe me I am DANCING!!!

Surgery Update

The surgery went very well today. I'm feeling pretty good and I'm not in much pain. I've just been sleeping since we got home. My Mom arrived last night to stay with Ella today. My Dad will be arriving shortly and they will stay with us until Tuesday. Grandpa Wayne will be in on Tuesday to stay for 3 weeks. We are so blessed to have amazing family. Thanks to all of you for your prayers today. There will be more to come and I promise it will not take me a month to update our blog!

I didn't forget......

I know many of you think I forgot about my blog. Well, I haven't at all but chasing around a little girl changes everything! Ella decided last week she would start walking and she was off! I'm so glad she held up her end of our deal to start walking after I finish chemo. Walking definitely takes motherhood to a different level! Joel took this picture of her picking flowers which is one of her new favorite things to do. She also likes to collect rocks.


We had a wonderful Easter and we were able to spend some time with my family in Augusta. Ella went to her first Easter egg hunt and did super. She found one egg! I don't think she cared a bit though. We jumped on the moonwalk and slid down a huge slide several times (I had a blast too)!

Everything with me is going awesome! I feel amazing. My energy is back and several people have told me the sparkle is back in my eyes. I appreciate everyday so much more and I am so grateful to feel good. I'm continuing to receive my Herceptin infusions every two weeks and I've started taking Tamoxifen. I am feeling no side effects from either one. I am so privileged that I continue to meet amazing cancer survivors. Just this week a young women came up to me at Walmart and asked "Do you have cancer?" Turns out, she also had breast cancer and has finished her chemo and is now receiving radiation. She receives her treatment at SCOA also. She told me about a meeting the next day for women who were receiving Herceptin. I stopped by after my infusion and met 2 other young women with breast cancer. We all had similar stories, similar surgeries, similar treatment and they are all moms too! They were so fun and upbeat. I can't wait to see what God is going to do with this! My hair has also started growing. I actually have a hairline!

I would like to ask for your prayers one more time. On Friday morning (April 4th), I will be having the second reconstructive surgery. This is the surgery where I get my permanent implants. YEAH!!!!!!! I can't wait for the tissue expanders to be gone. My surgery is at 7:00AM and should last about 2 hours. It will be an outpatient procedure so I should be home about lunch time. I thought this point would take forever to get to and here I am now. I can't believe it. God is so faithful! I will try to have Joel or Candice post a message after my surgery tomorrow. Thanks for your support and prayers!